becdreams

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 14:03:53 GMT

I'm being taken to a massive treehouse, a treehouse retreat centre, run by a nice hippy lady. I haven't signed up for the retreat yet but the lady goes to show me my room in the treehouse. It's very high and I say I can't live in a room like that because I can see to the ground and am afraid of heights, but the lady says no problem, and pushes a button or pulls a lever or something and the gaps are filled with a flat panel type thing. I'm still unsure, but she assures me they could put extra security in my room.

I guess I end up signing up for this retreat, because the next thing I know I'm dancing around in a kaftan and having fun. Hooray! Then - hazy brain, I really should get a small diary and pen for the bedside table so I can write this down before I forget - we're on the move somewhere. And then one of my bottom teeth falls out. Unusually for this type of dream, there is a lot of blood that I keep swallowing. I know I better stop because otherwise I'll puke up a load of blood. Another tooth next to the fallen out one also falls out. I count, that's two teeth gone.

Note: in this dream (and most others) the tooth that falls out is directly above the tooth that in real life was extracted and that I'm really self conscious about. In my dream I thought great, now I'm even MORE OF A HIDEOUS FREAK.

At one point I ended up back at the treehouse retreat, a mouthful of gushing blood and panicking like mad.

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 13:13:55 GMT

I think the act of writing about my dreams may help to kick them back into my sleep. Last night I had quite a few, though the one I remember most is a new kind of anxiety dream, hopefully not recurring! I'm at Glastonbury again and I need to get to my tent to fill my bag with these items: purse, umbrella, programme. Except every time I try to get back, something stops me. I get lost, or distracted. At one point I realise my index finger is all swollen and gorged with something, not quite pus...I ignore it but later it bursts open and I squeeze the stuff out, thinking I should really keep it so I can send it for testing to see what it is made of.

At one point I go into a shop to buy an earring for the one I lost, but she focuses on my dirty t-shirt and gives me a chain to use as a belt or something - I don't know, to disguse the dirt? I get pissed off and leave. I panic because The White Stripes are headlining the John Peel tent so I go there, but they've put the bar in the front row of the tent, which I think is dumb. Finally I get back to my camping area and am told by the people around me that my tent 'blew away' and then I freaked and asked about all my stuff inside it and they just shrugged & said 'must have blown away'.

Not Fun!

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 10:13:59 GMT

i haven't had a decent dream in ages. last night's was fairly interesting though. i dreamt that when teenagers got to a decided age (not sure what - oh and for the purpose of the dream i was a teenager) they were paired up with a member of the opposite sex and told to go off and have sex - presumably this was part of some programme? it was run by matron-type women. they stressed to the boys that although it might not seem like it 'this isn't about you - it's about HER!' hmm. i don't know what the dream universe's take on homosexuality was, maybe that was a different module.

anyway, i got paired up with a cute Sikh boy and we went down an alley and found this random room. my brain censored the actual sex but i do know it wasn't very long and the guy felt bad about it and wanted a do-over.

the only other dream i can remember is eating a raw steak with dijon mustard, but on the sly so i could still be a vegetarian, but it was hard because i was in a restaraunt with my friends.

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 09:04:26 GMT

I keep having weird little dreamlettes instead of proper, plotted dreams. Last night I dreamt:

- That a giant, evil bird that was sort of mixture of a flamingo, one of those bobbing 'drinking bird' things, and the Hyperchicken from Futurama was in my doorway, and stabbed Some Random Woman in the stomach with her beak and flung her out my window.

- That Death from the Discworld books sent me a massive book for Some Reason. Meanwhile, nuns were bringing children with a weird skin diseases to a demon's lair so they could be cured by having metal masks put on their face. Stupid nuns. I totally knew it was all a ruse. Managed to fly to Death's house but lost the book en route. Turns out Death didn't even send me the book. The big demonic plot was foiled somehow but I was left unconvinced.

- Sybil's mom was living in my head and shouting abuse at me.

- I had a job where I had to order police helmets but I totally overordered and was too embarassed to mention we had a surplus of hundreds of red, blue, and green police helmets. I wandered around a giant warehouse that also sold stuff from QVC and discussed buying pins with some some random women.

Fri, 29 Sep 2006 10:59:09 GMT

hello regression my old friend, i've come to be fucked up by you again. my brain has decided to return to the hell nightmares of my youth (ie hell is in MY BASEMENT) with fun twists and turns.

i'm back in 'the house'. i hate 'the house' so much. i've dreamt about it before and it's always a shifting place - rooms grow and shrink, staircases mysteriously appear and lead to nowhere, corridors of doors upon doors unfold - and always i know that it's the same house.

i realise right away i'm dreaming, because one look at those white walls and that commanding staircase says my subconcious is terribly unimaginative. so i walk downstairs and i hear the demons. the demons wail and shout and they know i'm there. the sound is terrifying, and i think just get away, away, it's hell behind that door. though i know it isn't real, i'm too scared to even think what my mind will create. one of the demons tells me to stick around, because lucifer will tell me his real name. cue panic because i know this will drive me INSANE. i scramble upstairs but i can still hear the demons. i command myself to wake up, which i do, and then remain awake. this was about 3am. yay.

stupid lack of memory

Mon, 11 Sep 2006 11:30:51 GMT

there was *tonnes* of stuff last night in my brief and continually interrupted sleep. the thing that annoys me is that i also dreamt i was writing down notes in my bed so i'd remember when i woke up. except of course i didn't so i can remember only a tiny fraction.

what i do remember is that i had the crappy teeth falling out dream, except at least it was only one tooth. then i kept waking up, and checking the tooth was still there, to fall asleep back in the dream. well after that happens a few times (each time with me panicking to check the tooth hadn't really fallen out) i realised i'd fall back into the dream, effectively killing that nightmare.

then i remember loads of really 'significant' things happening and me shouting out every time 'okay subconscious I GET IT now' though of course i can't remember a bloody thing about the deep and meaningful symbols. oh, marna's cats roswell and robot were fighting really scarily and freaking me out. and then biting me. no, i don't get it either.

my hero... sigh

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 15:36:00 GMT

Another belter of a dream. This time I decided to kill myself and scoffed loads of paracetomol. Except Stephen Fry, who was trapped in Green Bay, WI because of some problems on the plane he was on, was at my house and saved me. When I started barfing because of the OD, he helped me to the bathroom and called an ambulance and then when I was better it was just in time for him to get his flight back to London. Never mind I live in London too.

I was all gooey and loving on Stephen, sadly thinking maaan, he's gay! Still, what a dreamboat eh girls? I mean, he saved my life!!!!

and now for the fifteen minute prayer remix!

Tue, 29 Aug 2006 11:32:26 GMT

Probably the best dream ever. I was in at my grade school, Saints Peter & Paul, and we were all listening to Jesus Christ Superstar. I started singing along as I am oft wont to do – and indeed find impossible not to whenever JCS is audible. I was relieved to see that all my classmates (all adults, by the way) also were singing along. Yay!

Then we had to stand for prayer. Prayer was being led by my former boss at Burberry, the guy who was the Australian David Brent. Anyway, instead of saying the Lord’s Prayer or whatever, we all started reciting the lyrics to Pulp’s ‘Death II’. By the end everyone was singing and doing various Jarvis Cocker impressions. I thought this was fairly odd, but went along with it because yay, Pulp! And besides, I think Jarvis is thought of as God to many.

When the song/prayer ended I shouted out happily ‘And now for the fifteen minute prayer remix!’ and everyone roared with laughter.

area woman annoyed by unhelpful attitudes in dream's cast of characters

Fri, 11 Aug 2006 08:35:33 GMT

ugh, one of those dreams where you know the second you are awake for more than 10 seconds it's all out the window. it was one of those dreams where i swear i woke up at least 5 times to go right back into the dream.

all details are hazy, i seemed to be wandering through 2 houses - one 'my' house, where i knew where my bedrooom was and the 'guest' house. most of the dream took place in them, with me sort of blindly wandering from one to the other, wondering if i'd bump into someone.

though at some point (this was after i'd woken up a few times and twigged i was dreaming) i realised there were loads of people and so i said 'look, can anyone tell me what's going on?' and some really unhelpful - and frankly, rude, guy says 'well, we're in a tent as if that's going to be of any use. so i pointed out to him 'oh really? on a river, as i realised were floating down a sort of deep south mississppi river type of thing. whatever, i turned and left because i can do without my dreampeople being so gormless. honestly subconscious, throw me a fricking bone here.

anyway, the main part of the dream which turns it from merely annoying into a nightmare was that whilst wandering around the houses, i inevitabely run into a dark, smokey den, with a kind of doorman type dude at the entrance. he invites me in with a warm smile, but i am filled with a terror so deep, i can't scream or run, i'm just rooted at the spot. eventually after this has happened a few times, i sort of will myself to wake up - which is nice, but i did keep falling back into the same dream.

what strikes me about this dream is that my powers of direction were disabled. by which i mean when i'm having a lucid dream, i can usually say 'oh look, it's some guy i'll meet around the corner' because in this dream i was freaking out about being in this house alone (irritating boat-tent people notwithstanding). and sometimes, because i know i'm dreaming, i think 'ah crap, now it won't work'.

final note: what on earth is the wandering round a house thing? is this going to be the new 'i'm on the tube and i'm in bare feet' dream or what?

area woman's request for kitten dream goes horribly wrong

Fri, 14 Jul 2006 10:10:25 GMT

You know how yesterday I was saying I wanted to dream about kittens? Well, let me just change that to nice, happy dreams about kittens, not scary, symbolic dreams about dying kittens. Man, my dreams are not in a happy place. And they’re so anxiety driven and obviously symbolic (to me at least) that it’s kind of irritating. More of the Buffy / Discworld crossover dreams please.

It all started with my miniature apes. I had a cage that was weirdly similar to Juliet’s rat cage, oddly enough. I had about 3 or 4 of them in the cage and I went to take them out to play with them. Let me just plead dream idiocy here, because if I had miniature apes I would certainly not put them in a rat cage. I want to make that perfectly clear. I would also not put my two kittens in the cage with the miniature apes either. Anyway, the mini-apes were not to my liking. I wish I could say they were being threatening or scary but, I just didn’t like them anymore. Dream Bec didn’t know what to do with them (Reality Bec would scream OMG mini apes so cute!) and decided it would be cruel to just let them die (duh) so maybe I should eat them.

Yes, that was my dream logic. Oh dear. Sadly, this dream only gets worse.

Anyway, I realised that as a vegetarian, eating them wouldn’t be wise, so I’d have to find a home for them via Loot or something.

Then I was moving house with Nardo and brought the kittens with me. I went off to do all these things at once it seems: go to work, meet Ian and unpack. It all gets mixed up and flashes around here, but Alex from work needed to go to the hospital, and I was also supposed to a book a restaurant table for a work thing and also meet Ian to go somewhere. I ran with Alex to this house where I could make the calls, but the key was stuck in the door and really started to panic, because it was 20:30 and the dinner was probably over and I hadn’t booked the table. Also, Alex really needed an ambulance, except this time it had morphed into ‘booking a hospital’. Then Ian phoned my mobile to tell me that 1) whilst I was running away with Alex my undercrackers were on full view for everyone and 2) he was there waiting on the train already. So I start crying because if he’s already on the train I’m too late.

So I’m back at home to unpack, and ask Nardo where the kittens are. She says they are on my bed and I ask if they’ve been fed. She says no, she had no cat food or bowls. I just assumed she’d take care of my kittens while I was gone. So I rush to give them some water and they are tiny, shrivelled, dying. I manage to get them to drink some water, I’m afraid it’s a bit soapy from snatching it from the recent washing up. Then I pick them up and go out to find some Iams. I race from shop to shop, with the kittens dying and clutching each other, to bus where a kid runs alongside having missed it, with my dying kittens, knowing it’s my fault.

Revised request for tonight’s dream: happy fluffy kittens, Buffy / Discworld crossover, absolutely no guilt, fear or crying, but feel free to be as totally surreal as you like. Ta!

nightmares, boo.

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 10:44:37 GMT

One of the most horrible nightmares I’ve had yet, made only worse by the fact that I woke up at least twice and fell right back into the dream.

There is an evil man chasing me. He is accusing me of being a detractor from the guild of mummers and there’s almost like a mini trial.

I try to hide from this man, but he pops up everywhere. I am sure he is going to hurt me, beat me severely, torture me, possibly even kill me. I’m terrified. And I think I’ve lost him, but then he turns up, grinning, saying it’s all a matter of time. With him is my former best friend from grade school who dumped me spectacularly to hang with the popular crowd in the worst year of my schooling days, when I had no friends whatsoever.

The nameless man is vaguely attractive, with close-cut hair, not quite shaven, and very sharp smile. There is an air of the sexual predator about him – the promised hurt and torture have definitely a very sexual element to them. As I run and hide, I think about just giving in and letting him do whatever, but I don’t because I fear for my life.

Occasionally I plead to be left alone. I appeal to my former friend. But they think it’s a foregone conclusion.

Second nightmare – yay, two in one night! Me and a group of friends are coming out of a pub, but the door leads to a massive drop, a small cardboard box off to the side, and another drop followed by some piping. I’m supposed to slide down to the box, not fall off, then climb down the piping. Everyone else seems to think this is normal, but I’m terrified. I get so scared I sit down and cry and shake in terror. Some things fall from my bag including my mobile which smashes to pieces. Then I fall and fall and when I awake, I can’t move. Hooray, the return of sleep paralysis! It’s because, I realise now, I was sleeping on my back, which I try as hard as I can not to do, but happens from time to time.

Tonight, I would quite like to dream about Hugh Laurie and kittens or something equally nice.

vision express/pizza place

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 11:17:09 GMT

Another ‘dream collage’ – i.e. a combination of scenes not related to each other and very ‘cut-to’ without any logic or fade-outs. I’m not sure if this is because they are separate dreams, or I don’t remember the bits in between or what.

First part: I’m in Vision Express waiting at a counter to pick up my contact lenses. The woman in the queue in front of me is arguing with the woman behind the counter. Apparently the woman had tried to steal her glasses or something, she hadn’t paid and was called back (by a security guard?) and was saying she didn’t pay because she was intimidated by woman-behind-the-counter’s accent. I tried not to eavesdrop but it was hard, being right behind her. Woman-behind-the-counter called for more people to come to the counter and I looked around and there was a big queue behind me.

It was at this point I realised I was drinking a bottle of beer, and saw a friend of mine was at Vision Express, also drinking a bottle of beer. We said hello.

Lamest. Dream. Ever.

Next dream: I’m having pizza with my mom, some random guy who for the purpose of the dream was my boyfriend, and some of my friends. I go to get a small pizza for my mom, and two beers for me and Random Dude, and the pizza costs £5 but for some reason the total bill is £34.95. I think there was a bit before this, at least in my head there was back-story to us coming to this pizza place, but I can’t remember.

For some reason, the pizza place is in a big department store. I leave the department story – to get some money out? and then get lost on the way back. This is another recurring dream. I must have gotten lost in a department store when I was a young’un and it’s entered my psyche deeply. Memo to me: ask Ma if I ever got lost in a department store.

Second lamest dream ever, I guess. I

HELL

Mon, 19 Jun 2006 12:43:10 GMT

Yet another in the series of ‘I’m in an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ dreams, except this one has a Very Special Guest Star Cross-over from the Discworld. It starts off in this canteen, where I’m going to get some toast with Xander. Bad news is going down at the Fools’ Guild, and Xander’s worried because he’s affiliated. Some of the guild members are being severely beaten up and Xander’s convinced he’s next.

Anyway, that’s all very traumatic, but I really want some peanut butter on toast, so I go to pick my bread and ask the dinner serving person to toast it for me. I take a combination of white and wholemeal, and note with some bemusement the bread slices are cut in half. By the way, all the detail up to this point is totally irrelevant and has nothing to do with the rest of the dream, but I remember it vividly.

I sit down to eat my toast with Willow, when we’re startled by a tiny, blue, six-inch Buffy. She’s like a Nac Mac Feegle, except more demonic rather than pictsie. She tells us we have to follow her into Hell, for reasons I’m fuzzy on now. I love this part of my dreaming brain. I can remember I had wholemeal and white bread, pre-cut in half, but I can’t remember why we had to go to Hell. Maybe to save Xander?

Anyway, me and Willow are bricking it because dude, HELL. Nac Mac Buffy opens this door with a long, massive staircase and I’m struck with utter terror. I can hardly move I’m so scared of what I’ll see or whether I can get back again. But hey, Nac Mac Buffy wouldn’t let me get stuck in Hell, so down we go. I’m a bit relieved to see people ascending as well as descending the stairs, so I will probably not get stuck there, then again I remember how Angel was when he came from the Hell dimension, so am afraid again.

Suddenly, I’m sitting in a big amphitheatre type thing, except it moves around, a bit like the council chambers in the crappy Star Wars prequels where the podiums are all flying around. People are talking and I can understand the words, but the speech doesn’t seem to make any sense. A girl sitting a few seats away from me crumples up a piece of newspaper and throws it at one of the speaker’s feet, and I worry there’s going to be a to-do, but he ignores it. Just as I am beginning to worry we’re going to stand out, Buffy appears! And she’s now human-sized, except clearly not normal Buffy, she seems to still be mostly demon. Also, she looks well goth.

She unlocks a chain locking us to the seats, which I had totally failed to notice, and we bail up the stairs, but nobody in Hell seems to be particularly bothered. I think Buffy had to go to Hell to get from pictsie to normal sized, though why Willow and I had to go too is unexplained. I woke up then thinking how scared I was about Hell, but it was 6:30 and I was still really tired so feel asleep again before my 7am alarm.

Clearly the dream wasn’t about to bugger off, because it started up where we left off, on the top of the stairs, except instead of Willow with me it was Anya. She started asking questions about Hell, and then Satan answered her, in her own head but I could hear it too. Basically he said don’t ask questions and don’t interfere with Hell, or there’s shit to pay. I wonder meekly about the kind of people who are in Hell, despite being told just half a second before by fucking Satan himself that I shouldn’t ask questions. And then again in Anya’s/my brain there was an answer not from Satan but just someone saying ‘maybe the suicides are here’.

Then my alarm went off and I was very glad it did.